I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
