if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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