Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
