I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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