just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
True but thats because hes a fetus.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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