So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
