Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
