Even the bartender felt bad for me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
