I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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