I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
