I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
