he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
