After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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