He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
