I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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