It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
