Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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