My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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