I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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