I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
