At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
