Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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