im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
