I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
