people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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