I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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