She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
