The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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