Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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