They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
