She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
