If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
