I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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