I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
