I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
