brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
