What a fucking waste of an outfit
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
