Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
