drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i dont even know how to be here
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
