well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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