I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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