Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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