I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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