apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
