everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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