why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
