I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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