I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
