Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
