There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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